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Hi everyone!! I'm so happy to get back into writing my bridal blog. This allows me to unwind and be more creative within my own platform. I have some experiences I want to write about and share with everyone, but I figured I would touch on some wedding etiquette (RSVP's) 101 due to a request that was made.
I'm going to attempt to touch on everything there is to know about wedding RSVP's which will hopefully provide some relief to brides out there approaching their wedding day! I've done a lot of research and have been involved in weddings as well which has given me some knowledge on this subject.
Are you preparing to send out your RSVP cards? Getting stressed about the process?Planning a wedding is not an easy task. With everything there is to organize, the last thing any bride wants is for her RSVP list to go haywire.The guest list is the top priority when it comes to RSVP's. Despite all your efforts, you’ll still have 1 or 2 people who forget to RSVP. You’re going to be extremely hectic organizing the seating chart in the final weeks leading up to the big day. It's a must for you to know who is attending for both the venue and the caterer as they need to make sure your tables are set accordingly in addition to allow for enough food for your guests.
Step 1: Finalize Your Guest List
RSVP invitations should be sent out to your guests NO later than 6 weeks prior to your big day - ideally, they should go out 8 weeks before the reception. Your guests should receive their save the dates soon after you choose a wedding date, (even if it is far into the future), to ensure they are likely to be in attendance. If you previously created a guest list when you mailed out your Save-the-Date memos, that's a step in the right direction. It shouldn’t be hard to compile your RSVP invitation list! Make sure to make a few copies of your RSVP list, as well as a checklist to keep track of who has sent their RSVP cards back to you. It's even helpful to create an excel spread sheet of your guests - one column to check when they've sent the card back in addition to columns stating if they can or cannot make it! *You may also want to create a separate spread sheet prior to mailing anything out to organize your guests names, phone numbers, addresses and emails. This will be a life saver!
*It is helpful to be consistent with how you notify people about your big day. If you sent your save the date memos by mail, make sure to send invitations and RSVP cards by mail as well. It could leave room for error if you email your invitations/RSVP's, but send your dave the dates by mail, because your guests can often misplace or forget to respond to you.
Image sourced from Pinterest. Visit Pinterest for several template ideas. There are also several apps and sites available as tools to assist you in this process.
Step 2. Confirm Your RSVP Response Date
Prior to creating your wedding RSVP invitations, it is a MUST to establish a firm response date. Your guests should reply no less than 2 weeks before the reception. However, this date may greatly depend on a few factors. It is necessary to confirm this date with your vendors. They will need a final headcount no less than a week prior to your wedding to make sure all of the details are finalized for your day. Your caterer for food, drinks and your cake/desserts need to know how many people will be in attendance to make sure there is enough to go around. It is also important for your venue, decorator and even florist to confirm the floor plan to bring your vision to life. This will also be important for you to make sure the days leading up to your wedding are as stress free as they possibly can be. Lastly, if you plan to give your guests wedding favors, you must know how many people will be there to make certain no one is left out.
Step 3. Coordinate RSVP Cards with Your Wedding Theme
One of the most FUN parts of sending your RSVP's and invitations is designing them. If your wedding has a specific colors incorporated or even a theme, be sure to integrate them into your stationary. This will allow your guests to be familiar with the vibes you are striving for.
Color schemes and themes often help people to remember wedding and event dates.
Summer and Fall are the busiest times of year for weddings. Your guests are likely to attend other weddings and events around the same time as yours, especially if you are planning your wedding for this time of year.
There are countless websites such as Vistaprint, Shutterfly and Minted, (to name a few), that offer a numerous amount of templates for you to choose from as well as the option to design your own. This is one of the times in your wedding planning to allow your creativity to shine!!
Step 4. Things to Include on your RSVP's
Believe it or not, people are more oblivious to the RSVP process than you’d think. Make sure to be clear what RSVP stands for: the English translation - Respond Please. Many brides overlook this detail, but make sure to emphasize this phrase. Bold it. Italicize it. Change the font or coloring. Even change the size of the font. Anything to make certain that this card will stand out from the rest of the contents in the envelope. The time and date of the ceremony and reception should be the next focal point. There should be an option to accept and attend, or decline - check boxes or spaces are a classic and easy way for your guests to mark their decision. Depending on the type of dinner you are having, if you choose to have meals made to order, you may find it easier to include the entree choices directly on the RSVP cards, that way you won't have to track down your guests at a later date. Also make sure to include all necessary details about dress code, parking, and directions. It doesn’t hurt to include your phone number and email address on the RSVP, as well.
*Most couples include a separate card listing accommodations for your wedding weekend as well. This will help out of town guests to find a place to stay. Also on your RSVP cards, even directly on the envelope, be clear whether you are allowing your guest to bring a plus one. For example, address the invitation to "_________ and guest." This will make it clear if you are allowing your attendees to bring someone along.
Step 5. Pre-Stamp RSVP Envelopes / Post Cards
By pre-stamping RSVP envelopes / post cards, this will make a positive impression on your guests. This will leave zero room for error when sending the cards back.
Also, by pre-stamping the return envelopes, you make it easier on your invitees! This is an effortless way for your guests to drop the cards in the mailbox without the hassle of having to search for a stamp.
Step 6. Guests Who Fail to RSVP
You will most likely experience a handful of your guests who fail to fill out your cards correctly or who even fail to mail them back all together. Before you let this phenomenon make you extremely frustrated, note there are polite ways to deal with this issue.
Give your invitees a grace period after the RSVP reply date. It should usually be about 7 days after the requested reply dates. Be sure to keep in mind that this should still be BEFORE all of your vendors need to know your final headcount. If anyone on your guest list fails to contact you after the grace period, you are now able to give them a call or even send an email. Remember to be gracious. Tell them that you need to provide your vendors with an update or that you are in the steps of finalizing your guest list. You do NOT want to come off frustrated or annoyed. At the end of the day, people can be forgetful, things get lost in the mail, or they send things out past their due dates. If you respond politely, your guest will feel appreciated, not scolded.
Step 7. Final Steps for Wedding RSVP's
Wedding RSVP etiquette is straightforward for the most part.
Check out these final steps to ensure your wedding RSVP's will be perfect and run smoothly.
Whoever is planning your seating chart should receive the RSVP's. Whether that’s you, your maid of honor, your mom, or your wedding planner. Make sure the correct address is pre-written on the return envelope.
If you decide to pre-stamp your RSVP return envelopes, try to use the same stamp as your Save-the-Date. It’s a minor detail, but the little things help to jog people’s memories and will help everything to be cohesive.
Don’t include your wedding registry information on the RSVP. Mention your wedding registry on your bridal shower invitations instead or create a website and send it to your guests.
Leave space on the RSVP so people can write you. This allows them to let you know of food allergies or special accommodations. Your friends and family can also write you notes that can help you get excited about your big day!
I hope you find these steps useful in planning the stationary and to manage your RSVP's accordingly for your big day!!
Xo, Molly